if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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