So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
