hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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