So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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