I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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