...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize