take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
