its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
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Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
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I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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