Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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