i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
