he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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