Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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