I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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