Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
