Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
