The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
