North Korea, Best Korea!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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