they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
