I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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