so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
