I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
