my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
