Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize