If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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