Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
