HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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