The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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