Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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