I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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