You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
