we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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