The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
