My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
