omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I look better un-naked...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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