You're so nebulous sometimes
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
