Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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