The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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