My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
