I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
