yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
