You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
