even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
