She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
