I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
