He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
