Kiss
Puke
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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