everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
