does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The beer is more important than you right now.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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