Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I looked at my own cervix.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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