so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
