But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
