You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
