i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
